Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
