So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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