You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
