Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
