Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
