Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I deserve this hangover.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
