I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
