The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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