Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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