Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
