So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
