Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
