apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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