I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
