Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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