you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
