Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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