and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
