Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My vagina just clenched in fear
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
