the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
