Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
