We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
