it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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