just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I would fuck him just for his dog
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
