I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
