it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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