I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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