WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
