I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
