The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Drunk is a universal language darling
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
