if you like me you must not know who I am
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
