I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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