how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
