I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
