If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was like eating out sand paper
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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