sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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