I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
