If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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