You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
