My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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