if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
