After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
