when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
