I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
