i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
