Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
