even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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