If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
