none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
