But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
